My next new year eve plan

Was watching onetv this morning and saw the Ads about new years eve in front of burg khalifa in dubai, and how they plan to make more fireworks and a great light show. Something bigger than last years show.

I found myself wishing i would be there with Mohamed and Leen.

So i thought that in the year 2012, one of the things i will save for is this trip. To go with Mohamed and leen on 31 Dec 2012 to burg Khalifa and spend a marvelous new years eve.

Hope i will do it and not just dream of it.

Anyone reading this,... please remind me of this plan when we get closer to end of 2012 :)

RIP Heba Hamed and Lojain

Last night i was shocked to know about a friend of mine, who passed away in a car accident with her 3 year old daughter.

She has been a colleague from a MS scholarship i took for a year back in 2007. We were friends but not the closest.

Until a couple of months ago she called and asked me if can help her with her english language. So we decided to have conversation classes online twice a week.

We were regular until the feast we missed a couple of classes.. But that was ok.

A couple of times after that i sent her messages to see if she will come online. She didnt reply... and i thought she was busy.... but then it turns out.... she wasnt!

It just makes me feel weird how she came back into my life suddenly and was on my regular weekly plans. She even came by to my house with her little girl once. sweet little girl.

Then suddenly... shes gone.

HOnestly, i never thought id feel so bad when i hear of the passing of anyone right now.

But this has just shaken me to an extent i didnt think possible.

This is the first time in my life that i actually feel scared when i hear of someones death!

Maybe coz she was my age and had a girl my daughters age.... maybe that's what scares me.

i dont know.... i just dont know how to explain it.

I just have a feeling that "Heba" coming back into my life... and then suddenly disappearing was for some reason.

And as weird as it may sound.. this could be a turning point in me. I dont know how or why... but i think it will effect me for a long time.

May God rest her soul in peace and may she be united with her loved ones someday under Gods shadow. May she have her little girl as a companion in her journey and may all her prayers and her holy book light her way.

Heba, you will be missed.... in some weird inexplicable way... u have touched me and you will be missed.

Friends Vs Acquaintances

"A friend in need is a friend indeed"
I guess i keep remembering this proverb every once in a while.

And everyday i realize how powerful and meaningful it is.

Those times you are in need are indeed the times you know who your true friends are.

I just sometimes forget who they are....
And sometimes i under appreciate them
But i Thank God that those friends are still there for me when i am in need.

And that only proves that they are THE REAL THING.

Al7amdulellah.

How Competitive are you?

I have noticed something really weird in this culture of ours. We are extremely competitive.
You think that this isnt weird right?
Wait until i give you this example...

Person 1: Im sooo tired... i have a headache and i think im coming down with the flu.
Person 2: OOOH thats nothing.... I have a headache, heartache, stomach ache... my kids are annoying, my parents are killing me, my husband is a bastard, im fat, My clothes wont fit, i dont have money, i dont know how i will pay my kids tuition fees, my kids hate me, My boss is an ass, my career is not going the way i want it to, im worthless, im un(der)appreciated and overloaded.

:) Thats what i mean by weird competitiveness!

We compete even in the bad stuff!! I dont get it. DO we have to be more in anything?
im bad...im worse
im sad... im miserable
im sick... im dying

I sometimes think maybe the person who sounds like he is worse is trying to cheer the other up. Thats one way to do it isnt it?

Mashi...

What about the people who just complain when there isnt anything to complain about?
Example:

"Pff.... i have to sign this paper today" -- A fax that someone wrote for her and will fax it for her too!!!
"Oooh that guy is coming to meet my boss today" -- Not meeting with her at all.
"Hmm... My sister will go out today"-- ??? Just like that!!
"Offf... I'm gonna have lunch today" -- :) That was me years ago! :)

So what i mean to say is... it might me a gene of competitiveness in all of us... we just dont know how to use it!!

That and the fact that we are a complaining society in general who are never satisfied with what we've got:

"I wish i had curly hair" Vs " i wish i had straight hair"
"Wish i was a little thinner" Vs "Wish that i was a little chubbier"
"Wish i was that fair" Vs " Wish i had darker skin"
"Wish my wife was more emotional" Vs "Wish my wife wasnt so sensitive"
"Wish my husband was more flexible and open" Vs "Wish my husband wasnt a pervert"

I guess this might not be a culture thing after all... Maybe its just human.

But in anycase the list goes on.... need i say more?

Watching your mom..

Sometimes i watch my friends looking at their moms. How they take their moms signals to do anything and everything... or even do the opposite thing.

I guess moms are like traffic signals. They give you a red light and you freeze. THey give you the yellow light and you wait until the right moment comes...
Then they give you the green light to go.

And what fascinates me is... its by instinct. I wonder if i used to do that. Im pretty sure i used to do that... but would i still be doing it?

How many people have noticed that about themselves in the first place. I wonder... how many people know themselves! :)

Support System

These days, everywhere i turn, someone somewhere is depressed for some reason or another.
Whether its...
Being alone at night.
Being with Mr./Mrs. Wrong at night.
Not being alone ENOUGH!!

Breaking up with a loved one.
Losing a loved one.

Feeling like they have under achieved in their careers.
Taken away from family due to their career lives.

Having kids that are always getting on their nerves.
NOT having kids to get on their nerves.

And worst of all, not getting support from the people who you expect support from.

WOW... and i mean.....WOW.

It's like there is always one thing or another that can get you into depression. It's like no matter what happens, we will always find something that will depress us.
Unfortunately, im not one to speak coz i guess we all go through these phases. We pray it will come to an end soon even though we feel like its going to be forever.

But i'm guessing that nothing can take us out of our misery except ourselves. We plan our way out. Atleast i know i do...and sometimes i even know how to console myself... yeah..probably lie to myself too. DENIAAAAL! :) Oh well. whatever works to get me out of this suicidal state. (Not literally ofcourse).

So the question is... how do you help someone else out of this depression. Nothing seems to work usually. Take them out, have people around them, go to a party, involve them in planning something... It just doesnt cut it sometimes.

Should we try to help at all... or just.. let it pass!. I dont know! But sometimes when someone close to me feels so depressed like that... i just cant stand watching them and be so.

Does anyone have any ideas! I'd like to help.

Turning...30

So they say 30 is the BIG deal. Really? i dont! it might just sound different. I mean ive been twnety somehtign for the past 9 years. Funny how the vocabulary change can mean so much.

But even though this should have been the turning point age... it was the slowest, most uneventful bday i had. Maybe coz its Ramadan... we had iftar, we sat infront of the TV and we even slept at 10pm.

Leen gave me her bday gift, which was sleeping from 5:30pm till the next moring! :) So i had a break for the whole afternoon.

Anyhow, my friends are coming over today for iftar... so im hoping we will have some fun :)

Happy birthday to everyone out there turning 30 this month. Hope you have a blast. :)