Lows...

These days i could safely say... im Crazy!

One moment im all HIIIGH on life and then suddently.... im DOWN THE GUTTERS and life is a SHIT HOLE!

I think i need a break. Could it really be the lack of vacation? Is that really it?

I feel like even when someone tries to cheer me up by giving me some "seemingly" good idea...
i just refuse to be happy... YES... refuse is the word.

Its like i wanna be the victim for sometime and blame someone for all the miseries or the bad feelings i have.

Its like im waiting for someone to cross me so i could say.. "AHAAA... you are the reason behind my depression... YOU DID THIS TO ME YOU SICK BASTARD!!"

But there really isnt anyone i could blame for this feeling!! UNFORTUNATELY!

I dont know what to do. Should i just shut my brain down for a while?

It seems like... NO... i want to think things over and ponder on the annoying parts of everything and the depressing feeling that accompanies every accomplishment i havent gotten to or every opportunity i missed!

What IS THIS?? Some stage in a 30 something year old woman?

LOL.. i almost deleted "woman" and wrote "girl" instead! :)))

Thats how i feel...  a little girl stamping her feet in the ground coz she is NOT GETTING THAT TOY SHE WANTS!!

Oh God im blabbering!..

Should i feel better now penting out these thoughts in public like that?

Stop thinking.. stop thinking... stop thinking stop thinking... stop thinking... stop... thinking...stop... thinking...

Might as well stop breathing then!!!

AGGHHHHHH... Damn it!!!

 

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