People have the right to change.. dont they?

Here is something that i keep wondering about.

Are people allowed to change?

What do i mean you ask?

Well, when i was young, my father always told me... if there is something you dont like about the man you are about to marry and think that when you get married you will be able to change his habits... you are dead wrong!

Honestly... i didnt believe him... but being a man who is usually right... i kept it in mind.

Luckily i didnt have to change too much about my husband... but ive been watching people around me. Now the problem is not just with women wanting to change men or vice versa. The problem is if some outside factors change in your life... you tend to have a changed personality.

For example if a woman got married and never worked a day in her life and her husband actually made it a point before marriage that he doesnt want her to work and she agreed simply because she hasnt done it before anyway and she isnt giving up anything. Then at some point in their life she decides that she wants to work and he agrees to it even if on a temporary.

And as expected, work turns out to be an enlightment in life and takes up alot of her thinking and emotions... like any working woman and man. This makes her personality change... am i right?

Now the question is... should her husband accept that change or tell her how they agreed upon the fact that she shouldnt work before marriage? (Regardless what your opinion is about woman working or not)

And would it be easy for a woman who never worked... then did work in the field she loves (even if it is part-time) to let go of work or is it an addiction?

I mean wouldnt a normal person EXPECT this to happen? SO why blame someone that he or she has changed when you can see it coming!!

Regardless of all the details or other examples... arent people allowed to change? Cant we change our minds after more research? I dont get it. Its like if you say i like or despise something this minute... it means you always have and will. And you are denied the right and face a fight when you change your mind.

Is this how everybody acts with others and give the right to themselves only to change their ideologies, principles or life practice in general?

I think thats selfish. Selfish to deny others the right to think and make new decisions!

I totally hate this characterizing and expecting something from someone for the rest of their lives and expect them to live with it forever. How annoying and unfair is that?

Haven't we always said change is good? CHange as a general rule. Change means moving... means not standing still.. whether in the way we think or the way we live. How come we are denied the ideology that we've always been taught since day one of our lives.

I just dont get it!