The Craft of Living

Was watching onetv this morning and saw the Ads about new years eve in front of burg khalifa in dubai, and how they plan to make more fireworks and a great light show. Something bigger than last years show. I found myself wishing i would be there with Mohamed and Leen. So i thought that in the year 2012, one of the things i will save for is this trip. To go with Mohamed and leen on 31 Dec 2012 to burg Khalifa and spend a marvelous new years eve. Hope i will do it and not just dream of it. Anyone reading this,... please remind me of this plan when we get closer to end of 2012 :)

Last night i was shocked to know about a friend of mine, who passed away in a car accident with her 3 year old daughter. She has been a colleague from a MS scholarship i took for a year back in 2007. We were friends but not the closest. Until a couple of months ago she called and asked me if can help her with her english language. So we decided to have conversation classes online twice a week. We were regular until the feast we missed a couple of classes.. But that was ok. A couple of times after that i sent her messages to see if she will come online. She didnt reply... and i thought she was busy.... but then it turns out.... she wasnt! It just makes me feel weird how she came back into my life suddenly and was on my regular weekly plans. She even came by to my house with her little girl once. sweet little girl. Then suddenly... shes gone. HOnestly, i never thought id feel so bad when i hear of the passing of anyone right now. But this has just shaken me to an extent i didnt think pos...

"A friend in need is a friend indeed" I guess i keep remembering this proverb every once in a while. And everyday i realize how powerful and meaningful it is. Those times you are in need are indeed the times you know who your true friends are. I just sometimes forget who they are.... And sometimes i under appreciate them But i Thank God that those friends are still there for me when i am in need. And that only proves that they are THE REAL THING. Al7amdulellah.

I have noticed something really weird in this culture of ours. We are extremely competitive. You think that this isnt weird right? Wait until i give you this example... Person 1: Im sooo tired... i have a headache and i think im coming down with the flu. Person 2: OOOH thats nothing.... I have a headache, heartache, stomach ache... my kids are annoying, my parents are killing me, my husband is a bastard, im fat, My clothes wont fit, i dont have money, i dont know how i will pay my kids tuition fees, my kids hate me, My boss is an ass, my career is not going the way i want it to, im worthless, im un(der)appreciated and overloaded. :) Thats what i mean by weird competitiveness! We compete even in the bad stuff!! I dont get it. DO we have to be more in anything? im bad...im worse im sad... im miserable im sick... im dying I sometimes think maybe the person who sounds like he is worse is trying to cheer the other up. Thats one way to do it isnt it? Mashi... What about the people who just c...

Sometimes i watch my friends looking at their moms. How they take their moms signals to do anything and everything... or even do the opposite thing. I guess moms are like traffic signals. They give you a red light and you freeze. THey give you the yellow light and you wait until the right moment comes... Then they give you the green light to go. And what fascinates me is... its by instinct. I wonder if i used to do that. Im pretty sure i used to do that... but would i still be doing it? How many people have noticed that about themselves in the first place. I wonder... how many people know themselves! :)

These days, everywhere i turn, someone somewhere is depressed for some reason or another. Whether its... Being alone at night. Being with Mr./Mrs. Wrong at night. Not being alone ENOUGH!! Breaking up with a loved one. Losing a loved one. Feeling like they have under achieved in their careers. Taken away from family due to their career lives. Having kids that are always getting on their nerves. NOT having kids to get on their nerves. And worst of all, not getting support from the people who you expect support from. WOW... and i mean.....WOW. It's like there is always one thing or another that can get you into depression. It's like no matter what happens, we will always find something that will depress us. Unfortunately, im not one to speak coz i guess we all go through these phases. We pray it will come to an end soon even though we feel like its going to be forever. But i'm guessing that nothing can take us out of our misery except ourselves. We plan our way out. Atleast i ...

So they say 30 is the BIG deal. Really? i dont! it might just sound different. I mean ive been twnety somehtign for the past 9 years. Funny how the vocabulary change can mean so much. But even though this should have been the turning point age... it was the slowest, most uneventful bday i had. Maybe coz its Ramadan... we had iftar, we sat infront of the TV and we even slept at 10pm. Leen gave me her bday gift, which was sleeping from 5:30pm till the next moring! :) So i had a break for the whole afternoon. Anyhow, my friends are coming over today for iftar... so im hoping we will have some fun :) Happy birthday to everyone out there turning 30 this month. Hope you have a blast. :)

These days im not too happy. The only happiness comes from leens accomplishments. Though simple but quite some milestones. I try not to think about anything that can depress me but sometimes i cant help it. So instead i try to think of all the things i have rather than ponder at the things i dont have. but sometimez the " not good at anything " feeling just gets the best of us and we are just plain lazy to do anything about it.:( oh well... things r gonna get better. Or thats what my mind tellls me right now. I chose to believe it today

Have you ever felt like you're standing still and everything and everyone around you is moving quickly past you? Like when we stand on the beach right on the shore when the waves rush past your feet and then retreat pulling the sand from under you feet. When it makes you feel like your out of balance and like falling on your behind? Yeah.. thats how i feel. That and a knot in my stomache that makes me feel like puking. Yeah, ive always been taught that one of the things that shows you are stronger than others is that your psychological state doesnt effect your physical state. And i think i have proved to myself that nothing... no matter how horrible it is can effect me physically unless i literally fall flat down! But today is the first day that i feel like i'm not that girl who could do ANYTHING. Today is the first day i feel dumb, helpless and sick... Today is the first day i feel worthless.

Suffocating. Strangling. Irritating. Gloomy. Boring. Thats how it feels when there isnt a simple future goal to look forward to. Or an event that your can wait for. Or a happy moment that you are so anticipating. Im so dull i cant even write this. I feel sick! Id rather spend my day sleeping or something.. but DUH...... impossible. Try sleeping with a 2 year old wide awake in the house and there's no one there but........ YOU! I cant even think of something of something to cheer me up.

Heard on the radio today a guy asking an azhari sheikh that he heard another so-called sheikh claiming that the people who killed and were killed in the camel and horse incident that happened in the days of the people revolution, will both go to hell. He claimed that if a muslim is holding a sword in the face of his muslim brother... both of them are sinners and will be goign to hell. The guy asking was wondering if this was true. It really baffled me to think that ANYONE sane enough let alone a so-called educated sheikh (if he is) would say such bogus stuff. The Azhari sheikh told him that these people who "Tailor Fatwas" for the regimes benefits are the real sinners. And that the muslim who goes out intending to kill a brother and kills him is the one that is a sinner and deserves to go to hell. Let alone the fact that the ppls revolutions were all weapon-free, ie no protester had weapons and hence the only way to defend themselves were stones or punches! I was so furious w...

"You believe in the goodness of mankind." Sometimes i wonder if this is a blessing or a curse! Im sure if i didnt believe in the goodness of mankind i would be kinda paranoid and would always have the conspiracy theory thing in my head. But in a country like this... you are often wrong when you depend on the goodness of people. Sometimes its just hard to know who is telling the truth coz i just dont see a reason why people should lie or do bad things to each other! Like now when i watch the video of the police officer and the microbus driver. I see both their statements and both of them i could believe. If only i didnt know what microbus drivers are really like and how they really speak (mostly inappropriate and thug-like attitude) and if i didnt know that police officers on the streets now are afraid and dont have guts or the will to be in a fight or to work in the first place i wouldnt know who to believe. I still dont know what to think! I cant make up my mind coz i cant b...