The Craft of Living

These days, everywhere i turn, someone somewhere is depressed for some reason or another. Whether its... Being alone at night. Being with Mr./Mrs. Wrong at night. Not being alone ENOUGH!! Breaking up with a loved one. Losing a loved one. Feeling like they have under achieved in their careers. Taken away from family due to their career lives. Having kids that are always getting on their nerves. NOT having kids to get on their nerves. And worst of all, not getting support from the people who you expect support from. WOW... and i mean.....WOW. It's like there is always one thing or another that can get you into depression. It's like no matter what happens, we will always find something that will depress us. Unfortunately, im not one to speak coz i guess we all go through these phases. We pray it will come to an end soon even though we feel like its going to be forever. But i'm guessing that nothing can take us out of our misery except ourselves. We plan our way out. Atleast i ...

So they say 30 is the BIG deal. Really? i dont! it might just sound different. I mean ive been twnety somehtign for the past 9 years. Funny how the vocabulary change can mean so much. But even though this should have been the turning point age... it was the slowest, most uneventful bday i had. Maybe coz its Ramadan... we had iftar, we sat infront of the TV and we even slept at 10pm. Leen gave me her bday gift, which was sleeping from 5:30pm till the next moring! :) So i had a break for the whole afternoon. Anyhow, my friends are coming over today for iftar... so im hoping we will have some fun :) Happy birthday to everyone out there turning 30 this month. Hope you have a blast. :)

These days im not too happy. The only happiness comes from leens accomplishments. Though simple but quite some milestones. I try not to think about anything that can depress me but sometimes i cant help it. So instead i try to think of all the things i have rather than ponder at the things i dont have. but sometimez the " not good at anything " feeling just gets the best of us and we are just plain lazy to do anything about it.:( oh well... things r gonna get better. Or thats what my mind tellls me right now. I chose to believe it today

Have you ever felt like you're standing still and everything and everyone around you is moving quickly past you? Like when we stand on the beach right on the shore when the waves rush past your feet and then retreat pulling the sand from under you feet. When it makes you feel like your out of balance and like falling on your behind? Yeah.. thats how i feel. That and a knot in my stomache that makes me feel like puking. Yeah, ive always been taught that one of the things that shows you are stronger than others is that your psychological state doesnt effect your physical state. And i think i have proved to myself that nothing... no matter how horrible it is can effect me physically unless i literally fall flat down! But today is the first day that i feel like i'm not that girl who could do ANYTHING. Today is the first day i feel dumb, helpless and sick... Today is the first day i feel worthless.

Suffocating. Strangling. Irritating. Gloomy. Boring. Thats how it feels when there isnt a simple future goal to look forward to. Or an event that your can wait for. Or a happy moment that you are so anticipating. Im so dull i cant even write this. I feel sick! Id rather spend my day sleeping or something.. but DUH...... impossible. Try sleeping with a 2 year old wide awake in the house and there's no one there but........ YOU! I cant even think of something of something to cheer me up.

Heard on the radio today a guy asking an azhari sheikh that he heard another so-called sheikh claiming that the people who killed and were killed in the camel and horse incident that happened in the days of the people revolution, will both go to hell. He claimed that if a muslim is holding a sword in the face of his muslim brother... both of them are sinners and will be goign to hell. The guy asking was wondering if this was true. It really baffled me to think that ANYONE sane enough let alone a so-called educated sheikh (if he is) would say such bogus stuff. The Azhari sheikh told him that these people who "Tailor Fatwas" for the regimes benefits are the real sinners. And that the muslim who goes out intending to kill a brother and kills him is the one that is a sinner and deserves to go to hell. Let alone the fact that the ppls revolutions were all weapon-free, ie no protester had weapons and hence the only way to defend themselves were stones or punches! I was so furious w...

"You believe in the goodness of mankind." Sometimes i wonder if this is a blessing or a curse! Im sure if i didnt believe in the goodness of mankind i would be kinda paranoid and would always have the conspiracy theory thing in my head. But in a country like this... you are often wrong when you depend on the goodness of people. Sometimes its just hard to know who is telling the truth coz i just dont see a reason why people should lie or do bad things to each other! Like now when i watch the video of the police officer and the microbus driver. I see both their statements and both of them i could believe. If only i didnt know what microbus drivers are really like and how they really speak (mostly inappropriate and thug-like attitude) and if i didnt know that police officers on the streets now are afraid and dont have guts or the will to be in a fight or to work in the first place i wouldnt know who to believe. I still dont know what to think! I cant make up my mind coz i cant b...

Today the weather makes me feel so nostalgic... plus a lot of other feelings i cant explain. The sun didnt come out today. It's still dark outside... a little foggy a little rainy. Not night but like we are still right before sunrise in winter! I like this weather... even though it depresses so many people for some reason. Maybe they are prone to depression.. im not sure! I just feel so calm and feel harmony in the air! So nice! Anyone feels this way?

Hey friends I have made a new blog now. Hope you can join and contribute with comments. The Queen of Hearts Impossibles: http://queenofheartsimpossibles.blogspot.com/ See you there!!

I got this email from a friend today.. Thanks bassi for reminding me of more important things in life. I wonder if we can try it. If you dont knwo what i am talking about.. Read on. The world can seem like an unfriendly, threatening place, yet we all want safety, health, and happiness for ourselves and our loved ones. How can one ordinary person -- you or me -- make a positive difference in this world? One way is the practice "paying it forward." While the steps might be simple, the outcome could change the world. Steps Be attentive wherever you are for opportunities to help someone. Perhaps you have an elderly or disabled neighbor who is too proud to ask for help with their yard work or maybe you're in a restaurant and see someone who looks like they could use some kind stranger to pay for their meal. You can change people's attitudes about the world through your unobtrusive acts of kindness. Do something nice for someone you don't know (or don't know very w...

Today while i was on my way to work on the company bus.. i was listening to that program called "Bareed al islam" or islamic posts where the host reads out two questions that he received by mail and then two sheikhs answer them. Todays questions were: Q1. A woman asking if it isnt ok for her to ask her husband to clean up and look good for her after he comes from work! She was saying that he tells her she is an unappreciative wife and a bad one too!!! A1. The sheikh ofcourse told her that it is his duty to look good for you and vice versa.. and that the prophet PBUH has recommended that men do this for their wives so they wouldnt be repulsed by them and feel bad in living with them. Honestly... what kinda man is that anyway... he doesnt wanna take a quick shower and wear some perfume?? Forget about his wife,... doesnt he feel sick to the stomache?? If he is sweating and all messed up in his dirty clothes from an all days work? Anyway... i thought maybe the wife asks him for t...

This is a quote i found on "Alley Wonderland's" blog. I really liked it and thought i would share: A girl's heart should be so close to God, that a guy has no other choice but to seek Him in order to find her."

Disappointment isnt a nice feeling. I mean its temporary and eventually fades... But it is bad! Its annoying when you anticipate something then it doesnt happen. Then you tell yourself... be alittle later. Then later comes and goes... and nothing happens. So you tell yourself maybe even later.... and again... later comes and goes... still nothing. Its even worse when you are a little angry. Angry and disappointed.... the mix together is kinda suffocating to me. Or is it that im just fasting and hungry!? Above all, however, is being disappointed with yourself. Either disappointed in expecting too much... or anticipating at all. Or maybe not saying whats on your mind for lack of better words! Or sometimes saying something that you know will open a conversation that is important... but you are just too lazy to fight or argue now so you let it pass... which then gets you disappointed! :) Im just annoyed i guess... and a little angry... and a bit hungry too! So thats enough said! :) Happy b...

This morning while i was on my bus to work i heard this radio show called "bareed al islam" or islamic post. Thats a show where people send letters to take the islamic fatwa about a problem they have. Some of the questions and answers really give you info you dont know. Today there was a question from a husband of an almost 80 year old woman. He says she has many illnesses one of which is alzehiemers. An example of how bad it is was that she prays 10 times a day coz she cant remember what she prayed... apart from the fact that she can repeat prayers coz she cant remember how many rak3as she performed. SHe also has a small fortune of money. His question was this: Is it ok if we distribute her financial fortune now between her children as per the shar3? (i wonder if this woman was half concious of what her husbands question was... how would she feel?) The answer to the question was firstly that this woman will not be a sinner if she doesnt pray since " laysa 3ala al 2a3ma ...

Last Friday while my husband was at work... he went for the Friday prayers in the mosque inside his workplace. And after he was done... he found out that someone stole his shoes. Obviously the person who stole his shoes was one of the workers in the same place coz he left his shoes behind (and they were horrible). Anyway my husband was very upset ofcourse. He left work early coz he wasnt about to sit at work with his socks only. What gets to me is... why on earth is this guy praying!! Honestly, is he really praying in the first place or just standing in line so he would spot the shoes of the people praying. And what kind of personality or soul or mentality would allow a muslim STEAL from his brother WHILE praying. Not just anytime of the day... NO.. While praying. Is there no soul whatsoever that would make him feel ashamed that while you were supposed to meet your God... you disobey him GREATLY?? It just mesmerizes me how such a person would be living his everyday life. Do you think h...

I have decided to create a new blog just for Leens updates. Maybe it will be like a memory book for me or her someday. I have copied all my old posts about leen updates to the new blog and from now on any new posts about her are going to be written there. The blog is called : New Leen on the Block and the link is: http://leenmakhlouf.blogspot.com/

Leen started saying Adaaan everytime she hears it. She also SAYS lots of her body parts. She used to point when we ask but now she says them more often. She likes watching playhouse disney. And she says "Ktools" for mouse c'tools in mickey mouse playhouse. She also kinda follows the steps to the song from imagination movers... "Jump up.... Get down.... STand up.... Turn around, Turn around ,Turn around" She understands wheni tell her to go throw something in the garbage basket. It's really fun to watch her understand everything bit by bit. I can wait till she makes me tea and brings me lunch! :)

YEsterday Leen had all her toys on the ground out of her toy basket. She likes playing alone and with me ofcourse. However, her favorite part of the day is her bath time since her dad fills the tub and she can play and splash in there for quite a while. So if we say the word "Dosh" or shower she forgets about everything and runs to the bathroom door. Yesterday though when we asked her if she wanted to shower she said yes (nodding) and when her dad told her ok go to the bathroom she didnt. Instead, she started picking up her toys and putting them back in her basket. WHen she was done she said "Ba7" meaning finished. and then started heading tot he bathroom. Now i know this is so nice and i should be happy... and i am... But i was thinking... i did teach her to pick up her toys when she is done but i dont recall i stressed on it THAT much. IS this normal for a child though? She usually tends to put anything in its place if she is not playing with it anymore. Not every...

Leen can now imitate a bee. She moves her finger around saying ZZZZZZ And when i ask her to give someone a kiss and she does i usually say "Allaaaah" Now she does that too. When she wants to change her diaper and hopefully use the potty, she pats her pampered behind!! :) ADORABLE Oh forgot to tell you that she says Moon when i point to the picture of the moon and tun when i point to picture of the sun! :) SHe also finishes my music verse which i cant write down coz its mostly vocals!! :) Thats the latest update i have for leen's behaviour. She is really growing up quickly! :)

My nose is runny.. my throat hurts, i have a cough and my voice is slowly fading away. It also seems like my concentration is slowly getting worse and worse.. i keep getting every name wrong... and every timing wrong and every email wrong. I still have two more working days to attend this week before the weeken arrives!! Will i be able to handle this? i have no idea!! Worst part is... my colleague is off on her vacation from today and she has 3 weeks off!! Im so in Luck!!! Any suggestions or home remedies that you can share to help me feel better sooner than later?